Sugflappib is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish swallow.

Sugflappib created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sugflappib, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sugflappib, it will turn you into a mouse.

Sugflappib's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Sugflappib's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Sugflappib.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always help sick moths.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near seals while wearing purple jumpers and balancing three lead spheres on your legs.