Ponlunomt Vanyatwit Japgilfligflam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ponlunomt Vanyatwit Japgilfligflam created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponlunomt Vanyatwit Japgilfligflam, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ponlunomt Vanyatwit Japgilfligflam, it will turn you into a frog.

Ponlunomt Vanyatwit Japgilfligflam's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Ponlunomt Vanyatwit Japgilfligflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Erect eight silver sculptures of Ponlunomt Vanyatwit Japgilfligflam on top of important buildings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about fire.