Jarnxucmig is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, charitable faun.

Jarnxucmig created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnxucmig, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jarnxucmig, he will curse you with boils.

Jarnxucmig's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Jarnxucmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Jarnxucmig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never paint your legs yellow.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about gravity.