Dagyikpom is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous otter.

Dagyikpom created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagyikpom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dagyikpom, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dagyikpom's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Dagyikpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near manatees while wearing white boots and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your face.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never paint your chest brown.