Hamstigsan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, effective elephant.

Hamstigsan created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamstigsan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hamstigsan, he will have a low opinion of you.

Hamstigsan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hamstigsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always help foxes in need.

3. Erect six copper sculptures of Hamstigsan on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.