Futtaljap Miphakfud is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, deceitful butterfly.

Futtaljap Miphakfud created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futtaljap Miphakfud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Futtaljap Miphakfud, he will not care at all.

Futtaljap Miphakfud's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Futtaljap Miphakfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not kill shrews.