Flapgemcit is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ill-tempered porpoise.

Flapgemcit created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapgemcit, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flapgemcit, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flapgemcit's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Flapgemcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention shrews.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. You must pray to Flapgemcit five times a day.

4. Never write about nucleic acids.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Flapgemcit on top of all buildings.