Gigortzod is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciful fairy.

Gigortzod created silver three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigortzod, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gigortzod, it will laugh at you.

Gigortzod's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gigortzod's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near swans while wearing fawn dresses.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Always take life seriously.