Gumcittomyimnatbell is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, grumpy mole.

Gumcittomyimnatbell created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumcittomyimnatbell, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gumcittomyimnatbell, he will turn you into a mouse.

Gumcittomyimnatbell's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gumcittomyimnatbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face white.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide if three badgers approach from the south.

5. Do not covet oxen.