Sigpanlatken is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, benevolent deer.

Sigpanlatken created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigpanlatken, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sigpanlatken, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sigpanlatken's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Sigpanlatken's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Hide from fawn swans for they are unholy.