Vanmabfum is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, staggering unicorn.

Vanmabfum created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanmabfum, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vanmabfum, it will not invite you to parties.

Vanmabfum's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Vanmabfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near horses while wearing mauve jumpers and balancing three gold spheres on your neck.

5. Never think about archaea.