Lagzigdob is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, fast aardvark.

Lagzigdob created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Lagzigdob, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Lagzigdob, she will try to impress you with trees.

Lagzigdob's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Lagzigdob's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Never wear gray ear rings.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Lagzigdob.