Gatzogsak is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, calm crow.

Gatzogsak created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Gatzogsak, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatzogsak, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gatzogsak's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Gatzogsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Never feed peas to snails while wearing coats.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Do not kill foxes.