Ditpidjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, proud parrot.

Ditpidjarn created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditpidjarn, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ditpidjarn, she will turn you into a dog.

Ditpidjarn's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Ditpidjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not keep six snails in a large pit.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Ditpidjarn on top of all buildings.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.