Gempiglak Gidmaprot is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless troll.

Gempiglak Gidmaprot created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gempiglak Gidmaprot, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gempiglak Gidmaprot, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gempiglak Gidmaprot's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gempiglak Gidmaprot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Gempiglak Gidmaprot loves dogs, so they must be honoured.