Gumciplen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful gerbil.

Gumciplen created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumciplen, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gumciplen, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gumciplen's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Gumciplen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.