Gonflatrutt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, deceitful parrot.

Gonflatrutt created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonflatrutt, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gonflatrutt, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gonflatrutt's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gonflatrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Always help sick great tits.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Never feed lots of nuts to otters while wearing violet stockings.