Tiknartlid is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent gorilla.

Tiknartlid created a Higgs boson five million years ago.

If you believe in Tiknartlid, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tiknartlid, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Tiknartlid's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Tiknartlid's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must pray to Tiknartlid six times a day.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tiknartlid.

5. Hide if four horses approach from the east.