Gabstanflag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating fox.

Gabstanflag created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabstanflag, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gabstanflag, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gabstanflag's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Gabstanflag's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Never wear yellow shoes.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.