Tinjamzim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain octopus.

Tinjamzim created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinjamzim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tinjamzim, he will come to you in dreams.

Tinjamzim's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tinjamzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Always help sick badgers.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never go into white rooms.