Renhinaf is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful tortoise.

Renhinaf created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Renhinaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Renhinaf, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Renhinaf's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Renhinaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near manatees while wearing indigo shorts and balancing five carbon spheres on your head.

4. Worship no other gods but Renhinaf.

5. Do not keep seven snails in a large pit.