Metbembegbum is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthoughtful scorpion.

Metbembegbum created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Metbembegbum, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Metbembegbum, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Metbembegbum's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Metbembegbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide if three gulls approach from the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Metbembegbum loves seals, so they must be honoured.