Lakpibbed is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, contented eagle.

Lakpibbed created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Lakpibbed, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lakpibbed, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lakpibbed's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Lakpibbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not speak about pineapples.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.