Figxinlist is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever dog.

Figxinlist created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Figxinlist, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Figxinlist, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Figxinlist's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Figxinlist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never paint your legs gray.

4. Do not speak about parsnips.

5. You must love Figxinlist.