Vonknillgud is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, moody raven.

Vonknillgud created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonknillgud, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vonknillgud, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Vonknillgud's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vonknillgud's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Vonknillgud.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not kill pigs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.