Yogtunbot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, wise cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yogtunbot created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogtunbot, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yogtunbot, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yogtunbot's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Yogtunbot's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Run away from brown horses, for they are unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.