Jarngamget is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, effective dog.

Jarngamget created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarngamget, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jarngamget, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jarngamget's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Jarngamget's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cucumbers.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must pray to Jarngamget three times a day.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Retreat if nine squirrels approach from the north.