Hapbutcat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hapbutcat created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapbutcat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hapbutcat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hapbutcat's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Hapbutcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray trousers.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not kill foxes.

5. Respect your elders.