Larpfosskonpan is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, generous lobster.

Larpfosskonpan created the Black Eye Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpfosskonpan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larpfosskonpan, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Larpfosskonpan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Larpfosskonpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Do not kill badgers.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always treat doves with great respect.

5. Never sit near tortoises.