Garontpop is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited hedgehog.

Garontpop created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garontpop, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Garontpop, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Garontpop's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Garontpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Always help sick sheep.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Never look in ponds.