Lakkinvil is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, weak horse.

Lakkinvil created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Lakkinvil, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lakkinvil, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Lakkinvil's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Lakkinvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three grasshopers in a large pit.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Lakkinvil on top of all buildings.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never write about archaea.