Pantif is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish crocodile.

Pantif created the Tadpole Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Pantif, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pantif, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Pantif's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Pantif's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four sharks approach from the north.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Hide from gray great tits for they are unholy.