Pagtalbestfig is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-assured cow.

Pagtalbestfig created the Cigar Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagtalbestfig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pagtalbestfig, it will curse you with boils.

Pagtalbestfig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Pagtalbestfig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat gooseberries.

2. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Pagtalbestfig on top of important buildings.

3. Always look after injured tortoises.

4. Goats are not to be trusted.

5. Never feed grapes to horses while wearing yellow dresses.