Madortmip is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unjust armadillo.

Madortmip created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Madortmip, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Madortmip, he will turn you into a plant.

Madortmip's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Madortmip's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Madortmip.

4. Never hurt moths.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.