Quillwitbad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, omnipotent fish.

Quillwitbad created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quillwitbad, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quillwitbad, he will turn you into a goat.

Quillwitbad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Quillwitbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ants in need.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Quillwitbad on top of all buildings.

5. Never wear hats.