Hublunfun is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless narwhal.

Hublunfun created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hublunfun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hublunfun, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Hublunfun's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Hublunfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.