Gepfadnib is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered rhinoceros.

Gepfadnib created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepfadnib, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gepfadnib, he will remove you from existence.

Gepfadnib's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Gepfadnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Hide from black hamsters for they are unholy.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.