Bosspigtag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair mink.

Bosspigtag created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bosspigtag, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bosspigtag, he will be very sad.

Bosspigtag's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bosspigtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never sing in the presence of turtles.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about fire.