Tighomgup is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic toad.

Tighomgup created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Tighomgup, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tighomgup, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tighomgup's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Tighomgup's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Tighomgup must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must pray to Tighomgup six times a day.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.