Mitbep is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, fussy weasel.

Mitbep created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitbep, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mitbep, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Mitbep's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Mitbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. You must pray to Mitbep three times a day.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never paint your face pink.