Tadlunrawfot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, calm jaguar.

Tadlunrawfot created the planet Jupiter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadlunrawfot, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tadlunrawfot, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tadlunrawfot's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tadlunrawfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tadlunrawfot.

4. Never think about dark energy near swans while wearing blue scarves and balancing nine carbon spheres on your face.

5. Do not make images of living things.