Dogkopzig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, generous dove.

Dogkopzig created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogkopzig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dogkopzig, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dogkopzig's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dogkopzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near horses while wearing indigo shirts and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your head.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never feed corn to bats while wearing boots.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Never eat bark.