Hakhamrig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, wise cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hakhamrig created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Hakhamrig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hakhamrig, it will be mildly annoyed.

Hakhamrig's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hakhamrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not keep five gulls in a large pit.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

5. Erect seven tin sculptures of Hakhamrig on top of important buildings.