Tambuthascepsagven is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, kind seal.

Tambuthascepsagven created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tambuthascepsagven, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tambuthascepsagven, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tambuthascepsagven's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Tambuthascepsagven's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. You must love Tambuthascepsagven.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never hurt frogs.