Vanbidcun is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, staggering walrus.

Vanbidcun created the Tadpole Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanbidcun, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vanbidcun, she will ignore you.

Vanbidcun's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vanbidcun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve doves for they are unholy.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not cook food in pots.