Bissbigartlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tiresome scorpion.

Bissbigartlarn created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissbigartlarn, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bissbigartlarn, she will have a low opinion of you.

Bissbigartlarn's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bissbigartlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never feed peanuts to foxes while wearing violet coats.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always help shrews in need.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.