Jadtifpang is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, competent rhinoceros.

Jadtifpang created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadtifpang, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jadtifpang, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Jadtifpang's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Jadtifpang's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near rats while wearing pink boots and balancing nine titanium spheres on your head.

3. Never hurt mice.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.