Arnvogrilquart is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, egotistical crow.

Arnvogrilquart created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Arnvogrilquart, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Arnvogrilquart, he will send you a sign.

Arnvogrilquart's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Arnvogrilquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat grapes.

2. Never talk about gravity near voles while wearing orange shoes and balancing five lead spheres on your feet.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Worship no other gods but Arnvogrilquart.