Garwonflowlamhog is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful scorpion.

Garwonflowlamhog created the Sunflower Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garwonflowlamhog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Garwonflowlamhog, he will curse you with boils.

Garwonflowlamhog's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Garwonflowlamhog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Garwonflowlamhog first in all things.

2. You must never eat nuts.

3. Always obey Garwonflowlamhog's priests.

4. Run away from yellow geese, for they are unholy.

5. Garwonflowlamhog loves badgers, so they must be honoured.