Govtettigum Disstafjop is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, ruthless crow.

Govtettigum Disstafjop created the Sunflower Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govtettigum Disstafjop, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Govtettigum Disstafjop, she will turn you into a snail.

Govtettigum Disstafjop's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Govtettigum Disstafjop's Holy Commandments

1. Govtettigum Disstafjop loves ducks, so they must be respected.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not keep five birds in a large pit.

4. Retreat if three aardvarks approach from the east.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Govtettigum Disstafjop.